港督回董建华的信
董建华写信请辞行政局议员之职,港督彭定康当日的回信由政府部门附了中译发给报刊去用。原信甚为得体,尽见港督心思;中译虽然达意,毕竟苍白了一点;通篇没有适当的公文用语,显得不伦不类。时代不同了,传统的书牍格式和辞藻未必完全合用,再写“缅想兴居,极深驰系。湘省近事,迭以电陈,度已备邀英察”云云,似嫌迂腐。但是,港督信上"I"来"you"去,译成“你”来“我”往,实在难看。避掉这堆白话,当见清贵之气。港督说:"Thank you for your letter of today's date. When we talked earlier this year, I said that I hoped that you would stay on the Executive Council for as long as you felt able to do so. As you know, I have always valued and respected your advice even, indeed particularlly, when our views differed, since you always gave that advice honestly, impartially and in the interests of Hong Kong. But we both recognised that a point might come when you felt that the tensions between your appointment as Vice-chairman of the Preparatory Committee and your place on ExCo became too great. I respect your judgement that you feel that that time has now come, and I therefore accept your resignation from the Executive Coucil..." 政府的中译云:“顷接今日来信,内容备悉。今年较早时,我曾与你商谈。当时我说,只要你觉得能力所及,我希望你能一直在行政局留任。我向来很重视你的意见,相信你也知道:即使彼此看法不同,我对於你的不同见解尤为重视,因为你提出意见时,完全出於至诚,大公无私,并以香港的利益为依归。但我们都了解,你身为行政局议员,又获委任为筹委会副主席,终有一天,身兼两职的压力会大得难以应付。你认为现在已是退出行政局的时候,我尊重你的判断,只好接受你的请辞。”
原信确有不少英文说法很不容易译成像样的中文,“今年较早时”是一例;“商谈”当有宾语为宜;“能力所及”似嫌看低董氏才干;“一直”也不甚妥。姑且试译此段如下:“今日来信收悉,谢谢。月前晤谈中齿及深盼先生应接有暇,尽量留任行政局之职;此议实因平素甚为重视高见,双方观点相违之时尤然,盖先生从来坦诚进言,不偏不倚,以香港利益为重也。然言谈间彼此亦深知身兼筹委会副主席及行政局议员之职,势必格外吃力,终致不胜其荷。先生既感辞职合时,自当依照尊裁,准予所请。”官方译本二百字有余;这样拧紧螺丝,减至一百四十几字,读来果然紧凑了些。