Chapter 21 - Aslauga's Knight

It was curious to see the change which came over Dan after that talk.A weight seemed off his mind; and though the old impetuous spiritflashed out at times, he seemed intent on trying to show hisgratitude and love and honour to these true friends by a new humilityand confidence very sweet to them, very helpful to him. Afterhearing the story from Mrs Jo, the Professor and Mr Laurie made noallusion to it beyond the hearty hand-grasp, the look of compassion,the brief word of good cheer in which men convey sympathy, and aredoubled kindness which left no doubt of pardon. Mr Laurie began atonce to interest influential persons in Dan's mission, and set inmotion the machinery which needs so much oiling before anything canbe done where Government is concerned. Mr Bhaer, with the skill of atrue teacher, gave Dan's hungry mind something to do, and helped himunderstand himself by carrying on the good chaplain's task sopaternally that the poor fellow often said he felt as if he had founda father. The boys took him to drive, and amused him with theirpranks and plans; while the women, old and young, nursed and pettedhim till he felt like a sultan with a crowd of devoted slaves,obedient to his lightest wish. A very little of this was enough forDan, who had a masculine horror of 'molly-coddling', and so brief anacquaintance with illness that he rebelled against the doctor'sorders to keep quiet; and it took all Mrs Jo's authority and thegirls' ingenuity to keep him from leaving his sofa long beforestrained back and wounded head were well. Daisy cooked for him; Nanattended to his medicines; Josie read aloud to while away the longhours of inaction that hung so heavily on his hands; while Bessbrought all her pictures and casts to amuse him, and, at his specialdesire, set up a modelling-stand in his parlour and began to mouldthe buffalo head he gave her. Those afternoons seemed the pleasantestpart of his day; and Mrs Jo, busy in her study close by, could seethe friendly trio and enjoy the pretty pictures they made. The girlswere much flattered by the success of their efforts, and exertedthemselves to be very entertaining, consulting Dan's moods with thefeminine tact most women creatures learn before they are out ofpinafores. When he was gay, the room rang with laughter; when gloomy,they read or worked in respectful silence till their sweet patiencecheered him up again; and when in pain they hovered over him like 'acouple of angels', as he said. He often called Josie 'little mother',but Bess was always 'Princess'; and his manner to the two cousins wasquite different. Josie sometimes fretted him with her fussy ways, thelong plays she liked to read, and the maternal scoldings sheadministered when he broke the rules; for having a lord of creationin her power was so delightful to her that she would have ruled himwith a rod of iron if he had submitted. To Bess, in her gentlerministrations, he never showed either impatience or weariness, butobeyed her least word, exerted himself to seem well in her presence,and took such interest in her work that he lay looking at her withunwearied eyes; while Josie read to him in her best style unheeded.

Mrs Jo observed this, and called them 'Una and the Lion', whichsuited them very well, though the lion's mane was shorn, and Unanever tried to bridle him. The elder ladies did their part inproviding delicacies and supplying all his wants; but Mrs Meg wasbusy at home, Mrs Amy preparing for the trip to Europe in the spring,and Mrs Jo hovering on the brink of a 'vortex' - for the forthcomingbook had been sadly delayed by the late domestic events. As she satat her desk, settling papers or meditatively nibbling her pen whilewaiting for the divine afflatus to descend upon her, she often forgother fictitious heroes and heroines in studying the live models beforeher, and thus by chance looks, words, and gestures discovered alittle romance unsuspected by anyone else.

The portiere between the rooms was usually drawn aside, giving a viewof the group in the large bay-window - Bess at one side, in her greyblouse, busy with her tools; Josie at the other side with her book;and between, on the long couch, propped with many cushions, lay Danin a many-hued eastern dressing-gown presented by Mr Laurie and wornto please the girls, though the invalid much preferred an old jacket'with no confounded tail to bother over'. He faced Mrs Jo's room, butnever seemed to see her, for his eyes were on the slender figurebefore him, with the pale winter sunshine touching her golden head,and the delicate hands that shaped the clay so deftly. Josie was justvisible, rocking violently in a little chair at the head of thecouch, and the steady murmur of her girlish voice was usually theonly sound that broke the quiet of the room, unless a suddendiscussion arose about the book or the buffalo.

Something in the big eyes, bigger and blacker than ever in the thinwhite face, fixed, so steadily on one object, had a sort offascination for Mrs Jo after a time, and she watched the changes inthem curiously; for Dan's mind was evidently not on the story, and heoften forgot to laugh or exclaim at the comic or exciting crises.Sometimes they were soft and wistful, and the watcher was very gladthat neither damsel caught that dangerous look for when they spoke itvanished; sometimes it was full of eager fire, and the colour cameand went rebelliously, in spite of his attempt to hide it with animpatient gesture of hand or head; but oftenest it was dark, and sad,and stern, as if those gloomy eyes looked out of captivity at someforbidden light or joy. This expression came so often that it worriedMrs Jo, and she longed to go and ask him what bitter memoryovershadowed those quiet hours. She knew that his crime and itspunishment must lie heavy on his mind; but youth, and time, and newhopes would bring comfort, and help to wear away the first sharpnessof the prison brand. It lifted at other times, and seemed almostforgotten when he joked with the boys, talked with old friends, orenjoyed the first snows as he drove out every fair day. Why shouldthe shadow always fall so darkly on him in the society of theseinnocent and friendly girls? They never seemed to see it, and ifeither looked or spoke, a quick smile came like a sunburst throughthe clouds to answer them. So Mrs Jo went on watching, wondering, anddiscovering, till accident confirmed her fears.

Josie was called away one day, and Bess, tired of working, offered totake her place if he cared for more reading.

'I do; your reading suits me better than Jo's. She goes so fast mystupid head gets in a muddle and soon begins to ache. Don't tell her;she's a dear little soul, and so good to sit here with a bear likeme.'

The smile was ready as Bess went to the table for a new book, thelast story being finished.

'You are not a bear, but very good and patient, we think. It isalways hard for a man to be shut up, mamma says, and must be terriblefor you, who have always been so free.'

If Bess had not been reading titles she would have seen Dan shrink asif her last words hurt him. He made no answer; but other eyes saw andunderstood why he looked as if he would have liked to spring up andrush away for one of his long races up the hill, as he used to dowhen the longing for liberty grew uncontrollable. Moved by a suddenimpulse, Mrs Jo caught up her work-basket and went to join herneighbours, feeling that a non-conductor might be needed; for Danlooked like a thundercloud full of electricity.

'What shall we read, Aunty? Dan doesn't seem to care. You know histaste; tell me something quiet and pleasant and short. Josie will beback soon,' said Bess, still turning over the books piled on thecentre-table.

Before Mrs Jo could answer, Dan pulled a shabby little volume fromunder his pillow, and handing it to her said: 'Please read the thirdone; it's short and pretty - I'm fond of it.' The book opened at theright place, as if the third story had been often read, and Besssmiled as she saw the name.

'Why, Dan, I shouldn't think you'd care for this romantic Germantale. There is fighting in it; but it is very sentimental, if Iremember rightly.'

'I know it; but I've read so few stories, I like the simple onesbest. Had nothing else to read sometimes; I guess I know it all byheart, and never seem to be tired of those fighting fellows, and thefiends and angels and lovely ladies. You read "Aslauga's Knight", andsee if you don't like it. Edwald was rather too soft for my fancy;but Froda was first-rate and the spirit with the golden hair alwaysreminded me of you.'

As Dan spoke Mrs Jo settled herself where she could watch him in theglass, and Bess took a large chair facing him, saying, as she put upher hands to retie the ribbon that held the cluster of thick, softcurls at the back of her head:

'I hope Aslauga's hair wasn't as troublesome as mine, for it's alwaystumbling down. I'll be ready in a minute.'

'Don't tie it up; please let it hang. I love to see it shine that way.It will rest your head, and be just right for the story, Goldilocks,'pleaded Dan, using the childish name and looking more like his boyishself than he had done for many a day.

Bess laughed, shook down her pretty hair, and began to read, glad tohide her face a little; for compliments made her shy, no matter whopaid them. Dan listened intently on; and Mrs Jo, with eyes that wentoften from her needle to the glass, could see, without turning, howhe enjoyed every word as if it had more meaning for him than for theother listeners. His face brightened wonderfully, and soon wore thelook that came when anything brave or beautiful inspired and touchedhis better self. It was Fouque's charming story of the knight Froda,and the fair daughter of Sigurd, who was a sort of spirit, appearingto her lover in hours of danger and trial, as well as triumph andjoy, till she became his guide and guard, inspiring him with courage,nobleness, and truth, leading him to great deeds in the field,sacrifices for those he loved, and victories over himself by thegleaming of her golden hair, which shone on him in battle, dreams,and perils by day and night, till after death he finds the lovelyspirit waiting to receive and to reward him.

Of all the stories in the book this was the last one would havesupposed Dan would like best, and even Mrs Jo was surprised at hisperceiving the moral of the tale through the delicate imagery andromantic language by which it was illustrated. But as she looked andlistened she remembered the streak of sentiment and refinement whichlay concealed in Dan like the gold vein in a rock, making him quickto feel and to enjoy fine colour in a flower, grace in an animal,sweetness in women, heroism in men, and all the tender ties that bindheart to heart; though he was slow to show it, having no words toexpress the tastes and instincts which he inherited from his mother.Suffering of soul and body had tamed his stronger passions, and theatmosphere of love and pity now surrounding him purified and warmedhis heart till it began to hunger for the food neglected or denied solong. This was plainly written in his too expressive face, as,fancying it unseen, he let it tell the longing after beauty, peace,and happiness embodied for him in the innocent fair girl before him.

The conviction of this sad yet natural fact came to Mrs Jo with apang, for she felt how utterly hopeless such a longing was; sincelight and darkness were not farther apart than snow-white Bess andsin-stained Dan. No dream of such a thing disturbed the young girl,as her entire unconsciousness plainly showed. But how long would itbe before the eloquent eyes betrayed the truth? And then whatdisappointment for Dan, what dismay for Bess, who was as cool andhigh and pure as her own marbles, and shunned all thought of lovewith maidenly reserve.

'How hard everything is made for my poor boy! How can I spoil hislittle dream, and take away the spirit of good he is beginning tolove and long for? When my own dear lads are safely settled I'llnever try another, for these things are heart-breaking, and I can'tmanage any more,' thought Mrs Jo, as she put the lining into Teddy'scoat-sleeve upside down, so perplexed and grieved was she at this newcatastrophe.

The story was soon done, and as Bess shook back her hair, Dan askedas eagerly as a boy:

'Don't you like it?'

'Yes, it's very pretty, and I see the meaning of it; but Undine wasalways my favourite.'

'Of course, that's like you - lilies and pearls and souls and purewater. Sintram used to be mine; but I took a fancy to this when Iwas - ahem - rather down on my luck one time, and it did me good, itwas so cheerful and sort of spiritual in its meaning, you know.'

Bess opened her blue eyes in wonder at this fancy of Dan's foranything 'spiritual'; but she only nodded, saying: 'Some of thelittle songs are sweet and might be set to music.'

Dan laughed; 'I used to sing the last one to a tune of my ownsometimes at sunset:

'And I was,' he added, under his breath, as he glanced towards thesunshine dancing on the wall.

'This one suits you better now'; and glad to please him by herinterest, Bess read in her soft voice:

'I'm no hero, never can be, and "fame and life" can't do much for me.Never mind, read me that paper, please. This knock on the head hasmade a regular fool of me.'

Dan's voice was gentle; but the light was gone out of his face now,and he moved restlessly as if the silken pillows were full of thorns.Seeing that his mood had changed, Bess quietly put down the book,took up the paper, and glanced along the columns for something tosuit him.

'You don't care for the money market, I know, nor musical news.Here's a murder; you used to like those; shall I read it? One mankills another - ,'

'No!'

Only a word, but it gave Mrs Jo a thrill, and for a moment she darednot glance at the tell-tale mirror. When she did Dan lay motionlesswith one hand over his eyes, and Bess was happily reading the artnews to ears that never heard a word. Feeling like a thief who hasstolen something very precious, Mrs Jo slipped away to her study, andbefore long Bess followed to report that Dan was fast asleep.

Sending her home, with the firm resolve to keep her there as much aspossible, Mother Bhaer had an hour of serious thought all alone inthe red sunset; and when a sound in the next room led her there, shefound that the feigned sleep had become real repose; for Dan laybreathing heavily, with a scarlet spot on either cheek, and one handclinched on his broad breast. Yearning over him with a deeper pitythan ever before, she sat in the little chair beside him, trying tosee her way out of this tangle, till his hand slipped down, and indoing so snapped a cord he wore about his neck and let a small casedrop to the floor.

Mrs Jo picked it up, and as he did not wake, sat looking at it, idlywondering what charm it held; for the case was of Indian workmanshipand the broken cord, of closely woven grass, sweet scented and paleyellow.

'I won't pry into any more of the poor fellow's secrets. I'll mendand put it back, and never let him know I've seen his talisman.'

As she spoke she turned the little wallet to examine the fracture,and a card fell into her lap. It was a photograph, cut to fit itscovering, and two words were written underneath the face, 'MyAslauga'. For an instant Mrs Jo fancied that it might be one ofherself, for all the boys had them; but as the thin paper fell away,she saw the picture Demi took of Bess that happy summer day. Therewas no doubt now, and with a sigh she put it back, and was about toslip it into Dan's bosom so that not even a stitch should betray herknowledge, when as she leaned towards him, she saw that he waslooking straight at her with an expression that surprised her morethan any of the strange ones she had ever seen in that changeful facebefore.

'Your hand slipped down; it fell; I was putting it back,' explainedMrs Jo, feeling like a naughty child caught in mischief.

'You saw the picture?'

'Yes.'

'And know what a fool I am?'

'Yes, Dan, and am so grieved - '

'Don't worry about me. I'm all right - glad you know, though I nevermeant to tell you. Of course it is only a crazy fancy of mine, andnothing can ever come of it. Never thought there would. Good Lord!what could that little angel ever be to me but what she is - a sort ofdream of all that's sweet and good?'

More afflicted by the quiet resignation of his look and tone than bythe most passionate ardour, Mrs Jo could only say, with a face fullof sympathy:

'It is very hard, dear, but there is no other way to look at it. Youare wise and brave enough to see that, and to let the secret be oursalone.'

'I swear I will! not a word nor a look if I can help it. No oneguesses, and if it troubles no one, is there any harm in my keepingthis, and taking comfort in the pretty fancy that kept me sane inthat cursed place?'

Dan's face was eager now, and he hid away the little worn case as ifdefying any hand to take it from him. Anxious to know everythingbefore giving counsel or comfort, Mrs Jo said quietly:

'Keep it, and tell me all about the "fancy". Since I have stumbled onyour secret, let me know how it came, and how I can help to make itlighter to bear.'

'You'll laugh; but I don't mind. You always did find out our secretsand give us a lift. Well, I never cared much for books, you know; butdown yonder when the devil tormented me I had to do something or gostark mad, so I read both the books you gave me. One was beyond me,till that good old man showed me how to read it; but the other, thisone, was a comfort, I tell you. It amused me, and was as pretty aspoetry. I liked 'em all, and most wore out Sintram. See how used uphe is! Then I came to this, and it sort of fitted that other happypart of my life, last summer - here.'

Dan stopped a moment as the words lingered on his lips; then, with along breath, went on, as if it was hard to lay bare the foolishlittle romance he had woven about a girl, a picture, and a child'sstory there in the darkness of the place which was as terrible to himas Dante's Inferno, till he found his Beatrice.

'I couldn't sleep, and had to think about something, so I used tofancy I was Folko, and see the shining of Aslauga's hair in thesunset on the wall, the gum of the watchman's lamp, and the lightthat came in at dawn. My cell was high. I could see a bit of sky;sometimes there was a star in it, and that was most as good as aface. I set great store by that patch of blue, and when a white cloudwent by, I thought it was the prettiest thing in all this world. Iguess I was pretty near a fool; but those thoughts and things helpedme through, so they are all solemn true to me, and I can't let themgo. The dear shiny head, the white gown, the eyes like stars, andsweet, calm ways that set her as high above me as the moon in heaven.Don't take it away! it's only a fancy, but a man must love something,and I'd better love a spirit like her than any of the poor commongirls who would care for me.'

The quiet despair in Dan's voice pierced Mrs Jo to the heart; butthere was no hope and she gave none. Yet she felt that he was right,and that his hapless affection might do more to uplift and purify himthan any other he might know. Few women would care to marry Dan now,except such as would hinder, not help, him in the struggle which lifewould always be to him; and it was better to go solitary to his gravethan become what she suspected his father had been - a handsome,unprincipled, and dangerous man, with more than one broken heart toanswer for.

'Yes, Dan, it is wise to keep this innocent fancy, if it helps andcomforts you, till something more real and possible comes to make youhappier. I wish I could give you any hope; but we both know that thedear child is the apple of her father's eye, the pride of hermother's heart, and that the most perfect lover they can find willhardly seem to them worthy of their precious daughter. Let her remainfor you the high, bright star that leads you up and makes you believein heaven.' Mrs Jo broke down there; it seemed so cruel to destroythe faint hope Dan's eyes betrayed, that she could not moralize whenshe thought of his hard life and lonely future. Perhaps it was thewisest thing she could have done, for in her hearty sympathy he foundcomfort for his own loss, and very soon was able to speak again inthe manly tone of resignation to the inevitable that showed howhonest was his effort to give up everything but the pale shadow ofwhat, for another, might have been a happy possibility.

They talked long and earnestly in the twilight; and this secondsecret bound them closer than the first; for in it there was neithersin nor shame - only the tender pain and patience which has madesaints and heroes of far worse men than our poor Dan. When at lengththey rose at the summons of a bell, all the sunset glory haddeparted, and in the wintry sky there hung one star, large, soft, andclear, above a snowy world. Pausing at the window before she droppedthe curtains, Mrs Jo said cheerfully:

'Come and see how beautiful the evening star is, since you love itso.' And as he stood behind her, tall and pale, like the ghost of hisformer self, she added softly: 'And remember, dear, if the sweet girlis denied you, the old friend is always here - to love and trust andpray for you.'

This time she was not disappointed; and had she asked any reward formany anxieties and cares, she received it when Dan's strong arm cameround her, as he said, in a voice which showed her that she had notlaboured in vain to pluck her firebrand from the burning:

'I never can forget that; for she's helped to save my soul, and makeme dare to look up there and say:

"God bless her!"'